“The life of hope” – Hella Hidai
My name’s meaning is hope. Maybe, that’s why I had & have lots of dreams with hope in all negative circumstances. If a girl has a good life and becomes educated and successful, then it’s normal. But a girl in a traditional/fundamentalist society and war-interrupted country with lots of family problems reach her goals; then this girl is a role model for the whole young generation.
I opened my eyes as a refugee in the world and the first thing I knew about myself was a girl without homeland. When I started school, instead of starting education I faced rejections the first day of my school. With all problems I continued my education and had +A for many years in my class. We came back to our country (Afghanistan) after 13 years. Living in a foreign country for many years and then leaving it to settle in another country even in your own land is not an easy task. But we settled with all difficulties. I joined school once again in a very dangerous location of Kabul (Pol-e-Charkhi). This was the way from which American and other foreign troops went through and many times that way was the witness of terrible attacks.
Amongst all security problems, the other obstacles that I was facing at that time were my relative’s extremist thoughts about girl’s education. But with all these negativities, I continued my educational pathway. When I graduated from school and gave the entry test for university, I passed the exam by getting high scores (312) and get the way to Law and Political science.
Studying Law and Political science in a fundamentalist country like Afghanistan is not as easy job. But with all objections, I once again resisted and continued my education at university. I learnt lots of things from that period which were not only related to my profession but about all the fake relations which surrounded me. I became one of the most active student of the university and won many competitions.
If a person has support even from one person, her hard work’s journey becomes the interesting way of living. But, if you haven’t any support then your pathway gives you pains lots of time and you can be heartbroken many times. Same like this, I hadn’t supporters to motivate me even in my most difficult and complicated times. I broke up many time, stuck in much difficulties but I stood and stood again and again.
Many times, I was witness of bomb blasts but with all the dangerous conditions, I didn’t stop my education. Because, behind all my struggles there was a spiritual goal. My goal was to become a role model for the young generation of girls in my country who have the same condition like me and cannot get the permission to continue their education. I wanted to get my bachelor degree & get the scholarship of masters in Oxford University to complete my masters & PhD and show all Afghan girls that how a girl without any support & having lots of problems can be a successful person.
At the first day of my fourth year of university on 2 November 2020, three gunmen stormed the campus of Kabul University and entered the classes where we were studying. I lost lots of my friends in that attack. More than 30 students were killed and 60 others wounded. I completely lost my mantle condition & didn’t be able to speak for 2 weeks.
After this brutal attack, I once again started my combat with all tragedies of my life. I joined University once again and completed it with full of enthusiasm. After my high qualification, I got job at Presidential Palace which was one of the most precious achievement for my targeted goal.
With my job, I started preparation for IELTS exam. No one was in the favor of my job and scholarship but I didn’t let any one of these goals to let go. I was thinking that life is going to the point of ease but it was only an illusion. After one month of my job, the republic went to its fall. And my all dreams and struggles took a question mark.
Sometimes life turns to a point where all things seem destroyed forever. But when we see the same thing in a positive angle then we can see lots of achievements in the depth of the problems. Same like this, I started struggling to make my life normal once again. However, it’s not an easy struggle but I do my best. I have been started my advocacy for women’s rights through my paintings and writings. It gives me lot of joy that I’m defending women in this critical condition of Afghanistan and fighting for the right of girls’ education.
I am spreading positivity in difficult times because in normal condition all of us are positive but the positive person in hard time is the real warrior. I’m hopeful that I will get the scholarship of UK one day and do lots of work for the education of girls.